8 Tips on How to Parent Like A Boss PART 2
As parents, we want the best for our children. The best life, the best schools, the best foods, the best family. Although there is no one best way to raise children, studies show that parents who apply certain aspects while raising their child lead to better success in parenthood.
Here is our part 2 of our blog series “How to Parent Like A Boss.”
Be less stressed.
According to numerous studies, the number of hours parents spend with their children have no relevance in a child’s behavior, well-being, or achievement. The one thing that affects how children grow up are the stress levels of, not the child, but the parents. Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, states that a mother who is stressed may actually have negative effects on her child or children.
This is called emotional contagion, or the psychological phenomenon where people "catch" feelings from one another like they would a cold. Research shows that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if she's sad, that gloominess will transfer as well. So if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids as well.
Value effort over avoiding failure.
Children tend to think about success through one of two ways: fixed mindset or growth mindset.
A "fixed mindset" assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens that we can't change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.
A "growth mindset," on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.
At the core is a distinction in the way you assume your will affects your ability, and it has a powerful effect on kids. If kids are told that they aced a test because of their innate intelligence, that creates a "fixed" mindset. If they succeeded because of effort, that teaches a "growth" mindset, which is the healthier option of the two.
moms are recommended to work.
According to research done at the Harvard Business School, children with mothers who work showed stronger academic achievement and higher chances of success.
The study found daughters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory role, and earned more money compared to their peers who were raised by stay-at-home mothers.
Sons of working mothers also tend to pitch in more in household chores and childcare and spent seven-and-a-half more hours a week on childcare and 25 more minutes on housework than those who grew up with a stay-at-home mom.
The study's lead author, Kathleen L. McGinn stated that this was in correlation with “role-modeling.” Working mothers became an example of how to live life by working hard and also influenced the breaking of gender inequality.
socioeconomic status.
Tragically, one-fifth of American children grow up in poverty, a situation that severely limits their potential.
According to Stanford University researcher Sean Reardon, having a higher socioeconomic status plays a crucial role in a child’s life. The achievement gap between high and low income families "is roughly 30% to 40% larger among children born in 2001 than among those born 25 years earlier." This also has to do with low income parents having a tendency to not be involved in their child’s life due to being too busy from work or of indifferent. Although this is something that parents cannot control, parents can support their children despite disheartening living conditions and teach them that high achievement is possible no matter what.
Be more "authoritative,” NOt "authoritarian" or "permissive."
There are three types of parenting styles:
Permissive: Parents do not involve in their child’s discipline and is unconditionally accepting of their child.
Authoritarian: Parents try to shape and control the child based on a set standard of conduct.
Authoritative: Parents try to direct the child rationally.
Researchers and educators all agree; the ideal parenting style is authoritative. The kid grows up with a respect for authority, but is not overly controlled.
teach "grit."
In 2013, Angela Duckworth, a psychologist at University of Pennsylvania, won a MacArthur "genius" grant for her uncovering of a powerful, success-driving personality trait called “grit.”
Defined as a "tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals," her research has correlated grit with educational attainment, grade-point average in Ivy League undergrads, retention in West Point cadets, and rank in the US National Spelling Bee.
To be a successful parents, parents must teach their children to imagine and commit to a future they want to create. By choosing their own futures and committing to them, children will stay motivated and develop “grit,” which leads to harder-working and more successful lives.
apply behavioral control, not psychological control.
According to a longitudinal study from University College London, parents' psychological control of their children plays a huge role in their life satisfaction and mental well-being.
People are more likely to grow up happier and more satisfied when parents were less psychologically controlling and more caring and people whose parents applied greater psychological control grew up with a significant lower mental well-being throughout their adult lives.
Not allowing children to make their own decisions, invading their privacy, fostering dependence, and guilting children into doing what they want are all examples of how a parent might apply psychological control.
Examples of behavioral control include setting curfews, assigning chores, and expecting homework to be completed, which are more healthier methods of enforcing discipline.
Understand the importance of good nutrition and eating habits.
Successful people tend to have good eating habits, which help you stay more focused and be more productive throughout the day.
As Business Insider previously reported, Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, a family and children's clinical psychologist and author states that developing food habits in kids that are both mentally and physically healthy requires involvement from parents.
To help their children develop a sense of body acceptance and a body-positive self-image, parents need to show good attitudes about their own and others' bodies, healthy eating habits of their own, and a positive attitude about food. This will definitely help children grow up to be more confident and secure in life, which is vital in staying positive and maintaining a healthy mindset.